Life has been busy, life has been good. And so it is lived.
I have been working almost 24x7 to get emWave2 to ship. It is the most complex product we have ever put together, but we have great hopes of what it will do for people.
We were done, and I was exhausted. Then my father-in-law passed. Time to come to my senses...
I took a few days just to recover. I had some worries about my oncology checkup, which is now biannual. Everything was clear! I will likely have to deal with after effects of missing a good part of my colon and long term effects of shingles (frequent head aches) for a long time, but as long as things continue this way, I am lucky. My oncologist had retired, and his successor (ex Stanford fellow) was more brutal with the prognosis, which is good overall. But with a 30% projected mortality, you would not fly a plane.
Ergo, I am mortal - like everyone else. However, there is life after cancer. And I am optimistic, and need to make the best of whatever time I have, whether it is a year, five, or 40!
I need to focus on greater balance in life, and really start working on the things that are important to me. Time to catch up with writing, and this blog. There are experiences I had that might be helpful, and thoughts that interest me. The human condition is fascinating.
This evening, I was moved further into action. I came across Derek K. Miller's blog - penmachine.com. He wrote "The last post" that I could have had to write. Shortly before passing of stage IV colorectal cancer at the young age of 41, he prepared the entry to be read on his blog posthumously.
Simple, honest, to the point. I wish, I will have the grace to announce my passing in this way, when the time comes.
My heart goes to his wife, to his two girls. It also goes to the family of a friend, who passed after a 15 year struggle a short while ago. Cancer strikes, and takes its toll without hesitation.
When she was just 16 my daughter played Vivian in the play Wit by Margaret Edson about an English professor dying of stage IV ovarian cancer. A tour de force for her, and a strangely effective preparation for my ordeal one year later. She recited this poem by John Donne - it is one of the key themes of the play.
DEATH be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadfull, for, thou art not so,
For, those, whom thou think'st, thou dost overthrow,
Die not, poore death, nor yet canst thou kill me.
From rest and sleepe, which but thy pictures bee,
Much pleasure, then from thee, much more must flow,
And soonest our best men with thee doe goe,
Rest of their bones, and soules deliverie.
Thou art slave to Fate, Chance, kings, and desperate men,
And dost with poyson, warre, and sicknesse dwell,
And poppie, or charmes can make us sleepe as well,
And better then thy stroake; why swell'st thou then;
One short sleepe past, wee wake eternally,
And death shall be no more; death, thou shalt die.
Fair winds to all of you.
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